Lewis Carroll once perceived a journey of self-discovery and adventure. Alice was his muse, and Wonderland the inner world of the sub-conscious - our inner psyche; the realm that needs to be freed from the tyranny of an immature, spoilt, selfish despotic Queen.
A world not too dissimilar to the world of online dating!
Looking through the glass screen in hope of finding one’s love. The hope of finding the freedom that love can bring from the always-present ominous spectre of loneliness.
With a longing for a true, beautiful love that had become so strong and overpowering, I was able to put the requisite amount of pride aside and venture down the rabbit hole into the distorted world of an online dating site. Within a mere two weeks I was so disheartened I was ready to cancel my profile and put the traumatic experience behind me. Being a reasonably handsome man with a good physique seems to bring out the worst, most vulgar aspects of some women. Somewhat different behaviour to their virgin-esque profiles, I may add!
As I was pondering the spiritual and personal emptiness displayed in front of me, a picture came up that instantly mesmorised me. The most exquisite smile and eyes like the deepest pools of emotion. I was frozen, shocked, by the effect of this picture upon me.
Instantly, I moved the cursor and clicked that I would like to meet this image, this woman, who had so transfixed me. I then went on to the profile, somehow nervous, yet soon I was laughing as this strong, spiritual (we were both Reiki Masters), perceptive, no-nonsense independent woman of integrity leapt off the screen. Our profiles were remarkably similar, our own individual words but utterly together on what we wanted from any prospective partner = respect, loyalty and love.
Within a day or two – or three (how demure of her not to seem too keen! – she is still after all, a woman) – I received a response, and soon we were chatting and discovering that we were aiming for exactly the same adventures from life. Our lives, experiences, knowledge of the people in this world had left us both on the same page. Both dreaming of a life of love, yet afraid that we were alone in this wish, this need.
We lived exactly 104 miles apart, so two weeks passed until we met. I caught the train at 5.05am and spent three hours wondering what the possibilities of this meeting could be. After this mini-eternity, I stepped off the train into a cold January morning. I walked over the platform and through the waiting room. I looked once more through glass – this time, the window of a train station – to the most beautiful woman beyond. For what seemed like the first time in my life, I became shy and almost dumb-stuck.
I guess when you do meet your one true love and fall in love in an instant, the mind requires a little time to comprehend this moment – this gigantic, overwhelming moment that suddenly gives meaning to your life and experiences.
Nothing can take the past pains away, but the love I share with my wife gives light to even the darkest memories. My wife is the love, the hope, I have always held on to. She was my saviour in a time long ago that almost seems, today, like another life. My heart, soul and body belong to her. She is my world, my life, my light, and will remain so, far beyond this life.